


Mortal Strength

by DesertFlower303



Category: The Matrix (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-01
Updated: 2006-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29348577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertFlower303/pseuds/DesertFlower303
Summary: Neo battles his greatest weakness which will become his greatest strength. If he can give in to her...
Relationships: Thomas Anderson | Neo/Trinity





	Mortal Strength

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in . Playing around with the idea of Neo's reserved nature and difficulty expressing his emotions.

Morpheus sits down at the table and gazes intently at the One seated before him. He marvels for a moment at just how far he has come in the past few months... the trials, the tests, the training the adjusting to a completely new life... And of course dealing with his love life.

Morpheus can't help but smile a little at that thought. Of all the crew members he'd ever had the pleasure of working with, Neo and Trinity are the best he's ever had. They made an almost invincible team inside the matrix, and outside served as a strong reminder that there was still something in this world worth striving for. It had come as no surprise to him when they'd gotten together. It had been painfully obvious that there was an attraction on Neo's part from the way he looked at her like a lost puppy when he'd thought she wasn't aware. And nobody had missed the peculiar way Trinity had begun to act after Neo had been unplugged. She'd always been quiet, but nobody not even Morpheus had ever seen her so silent, so pensive. Her slight tense jumpiness and hypersensitivity when Neo was around also had not gone unnoticed, and she had become the hottest gossip subject on the ship. They both had.

_It would have amused them enormously to finally see them hit it off._

The thought serves as a bitter reminder of the past few months and how empty the ship is without the full crew he'd become so fond of. But a quick glance at the man before him jolts him back into reality.

He certainly has come a long way! He can't help musing to himself as he smiles inwardly, thankful without measure of all that has become possible through this man.

But he has not come here to marvel. Such luxuries shall have to be put off for a while. He can sense the One's unease, see the confusion and doubt in his eyes.

"You wanted to talk?" He asks gently.

Neo gazes up, the sleepless nights and stressful days revealed in his features and the weary shake of his head. His skin looks paler by the day, the deep circles around his eyes and sunken cheekbones adding to the obvious anxious air about him. His eyes blink as he gazes back down at his hands, holding the cup of water in front of him his slightly trembling hands gripping the vessel. His brow furrows slightly. This is not going to be easy for him and it shows.

"It's Trinity..."

A slightly curious look mixed with confusion crosses Morpheus' face. It is not very often Neo mentions his relationship with Trinity to anyone. He usually prefers to work out their issues together, practically never involving anyone else. For him to approach Morpheus with this must mean he either doesn't want her to know or he's not ready to tell her. A most puzzling, and uncharacteristic development Morpheus decides.

"What about Trinity?"

Neo shakes his head, eyes still staring confusedly at his hands, clenching them in frustration.

"I'm so confused about her... about us... I don't really know how to say this."

Morpheus heaves a tired sigh, but remains composed and steady. Patience is the key, he reminds himself.

"Try."

Neo's eyes reveal a touch of nostalgia, and for a few moments a touch, barely a whisper of a smile is revealed in the corners of his mouth as if he is recalling some very fond memory.

"Whenever we're together I feel uncontrollably drawn to her. Everything around me seems to fade, and all I see is her. What does that mean?"

An amused grin spreads across Morpheus' face.

_There must be something more to it than that._

"I might be wrong, but I think perhaps you should be discussing this with her."

"I can't."

Neo tenses again, the fond memories fading into some kind of seeming despair. He still can't look up, and the quiet forcefulness in his voice gives away his state of frustration and weakness oh so obviously. But then, he never has been a very good actor.

"Why not?"

"I've tried...I lose my nerve every time."

"Why?"

Morpheus is not yet prepared to give up.

_He must have more to say or he would not have approached me._

Neo finally looks up, at last displaying the full extent of his confusion; a maze of torment beneath the deep brown exterior.

"I don't know."

Morpheus leans forward slightly; raises his eyebrows, letting his amusement out a little. As much as he can see Neo's suffering, it is still a little humerus to him that he can't admit something that is so damn obvious to everyone else.

"I think you do know Neo... I think you are just afraid to admit it... afraid to let go."

Neo's eyes reveal what his heart keeps confirming, but his head won't give in to.

"What do you mean?"

He is even more confused, but there's something else there. Perhaps a touch of recognition?

Morpheus lets out his exasperation in a long sigh.

_He can't be this thick… Can he?_

"Do you not listen to your own heart Neo? Everybody you pass can see it but you. You are in love. You've always loved her. I think you have always known it. What makes it so hard for you to admit it?"

Neo's eyes once again reveal him as fear and intimidation flood his mind. The matter is not so simple to him.

"Love is a weakness. It makes my knees weak just to think about giving in to what I feel for her. Oh God! If I ever did..."

"It would make you stronger Neo. Everyone takes a risk when they fall in love. But the risk is worth it in the end."

Neo looks almost on the brink of tears.

_Not now! Not in front of Morpheus!_

That would be an embarrassment he wouldn't want to face.

"How can I be sure Morpheus? What if I'm wrong?"

"There is no wrong in love Neo. If it is real love it is always right."

This strikes a chord with Neo, a vivid memory appearing in his mind; seems so distant now, like a dream.

_"I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Being the one is just like being in love. Nobody can tell you you're in love you just know it, balls to bones."_

Yes. That's what she'd said. It may have been a simple analogy, but it made sense. Well at least it had at the time, even though he hadn't known why. But then he'd found out as clear as daylight.

_He was clearly dead. He'd been shot at least five times in the chest. Everyone had heard the flat line. Even he had somewhere distant in his mind. He was clearly dead._

_...Or was he?_

_Even though he knew what had happened, even though the pain had been replaced by the gentle calm and relief of permanent rest, he could still feel his body... there, still jacked into the matrix._

_He could feel the warmth of her gentle breath cascading over his face in gentle desperate waves, the soft touch of her hands 'Beautiful Hands' on his shoulders... and then those words... So simple yet so beautiful and rapturing._

_"Neo. I'm not afraid anymore. The oracle told me I would fall in love and that that man, the man that I loved would be the one..."_

_She seemed to be preparing herself to let out a big secret that she wasn't sure she should reveal. And she was nervous. Trinity was nervous? What the hell? It seemed a decade before she continued... He'd be eternally grateful she did!_

_"...So you see you can't be dead. You can't be because I love you."_

_Me? You love me? This is all too much!_

_"...I love you..."_

_It was the sweetest confirmation he'd ever heard! And then he felt it. Her warmth flowed into him as her lips met his, tenderly breathing new life, new purpose into him. He longed to return the kiss, but it was not yet possible._

_"Now get up!"_

Neo's eyes flash with recognition, and Morpheus can see that he is beginning to understand.

"I wouldn't be the one without her Morpheus. Without her I'd be dead. She loves me, that much I know...but beyond that..."

"I will repeat the pertinent question Neo. Do _you_ love her?"

Neo searches himself carefully, but in vain. In his heart he knows the truth, knows it oh so strongly, but...

_Just give in you idiot! Why is this so frightening?_

And before he knows it, his heart overrides his head and the truth is revealed in his every being, flowing from every pore, every cell, every tiny crevice of his body and soul. And he sighs, finally letting it out.

"Yes. I love her so damn much it scares me!"

"Why does it scare you?"

 _Because I'm terrified of losing her._ He realises.

Neo's expression becomes deeply troubled, and he collapses slightly in his chair, his breath catching in his throat.

"What is Wrong Neo?"

Neo's eyes widen a little. He looks haunted, as if something horrible were playing itself out before his eyes in vivid motion.

"I've been having nightmares Morpheus. Horrible nightmares. Only it feels as if they're more than just dreams. It feels like they're real."

"About Trinity?"

Neo rubs his temples miserably as if trying to banish some inner pain.

"Yes."

"What happens in the dream?"

"I see Trinity... and something happens... something bad... she starts to fall... and she's got these horrible scrapes and bruises across her face, blood everywhere. And then... Oh God…"

The last two words come out in a hushed haunted whisper as he stares at the table as if he can see it happening with his waking eyes.

"Then?"

Morpheus tries to be as gentle as possible. This is obviously a little more dark and disturbing than he first thought. Better not to push him.

"She gets shot."

The words come out so weak and husky that they're almost inaudible, the hitch in his voice unmistakable.

"Where?"

Neo's hands are trembling as he looks up at Morpheus, and the anguish in his eyes is almost heart wrenching. Then he places a hand to his chest over where his heart is, and Morpheus is almost sure he can hear it breaking with the gesture.

He takes in a sharp breath exhaling it forcefully. This is definitely a lot more disturbing than he'd first thought.

"I think I can understand now. How long have you been having these dreams?"

Neo composes himself a little, breathing slower and steadier.

"About two months."

"And how often do they come?"

"Every time I sleep, even if I nod off for only a few moments. It never stops. I've even started seeing it when I'm awake... I can't escape it, and it's killing me Morpheus... I can't take much more."

He looks into Morpheus' eyes, desperately seeking something to comfort and reassure him.

Morpheus nods slowly, a little taken aback by the pleading in Neo's eyes.

"I think perhaps this is a matter out of our control. There may be only one person who could give you some guidance in this situation..."

He looks at Neo the calm suggestiveness in his eyes which is quickly acknowledged.

"I've been trying to contact her... but I can't seem to find her in the code... It's almost like she's disappeared... yet... I can still feel her presence in there somehow."

"She is not one to be contacted very easily, especially now that the agents are aware of her presence. But she knows enough as she would say... I am sure she knows of your unease. She will contact you when it is time to talk... until then... I am afraid you have very little options Neo."

Just then they both hear the twist of metal on metal as Trinity and Neo's door opens to reveal the very topic of discussion. She looks uneasy and dazed as she approaches them, her face worn from stress and worry. Morpheus can see it in her eyes. She knows there's something wrong. She is dying to know what it is so she can try to help. This is just as hard for her as it is for him. Sometimes not knowing is the greatest curse of all. For a moment Morpheus considers bringing up the subject and leading Neo to confess...

But that would only put more pressure on her...

And by the look of her too thin, worn out figure he can see that the knowledge could do her a lot more harm than good.

"It's late."

Trinity observes, sitting down next to Neo and grasping his hand gently; a warm gesture that seems to ease Neo a little... a welcome change for the moment.

"Don't tell me you can't sleep too Morpheus."

Morpheus regards her with a pleasant, steady gaze. She is definitely better off with Neo in her life. He seems to have softened her somehow, while still managing to help her remain the strong fearless fighter she's always been.

"On the contrary. I was simply having a much needed talk with Neo. I shall be returning to my quarters very soon. Do you two want to be alone?"

Trinity's pleading look says it more plainly than her words ever could, and Morpheus, taking the hint, leaves gracefully after bidding them a warm good night.

As soon as he is gone Neo wraps an arm around her slender waist, so soft, so warm, and so full of life. She gazes up into his troubled eyes and places the tender caress of her hand on his slender face, so creased with fear, confusion, and worry.

_What does he worry about? And why can't he tell me?_

But now is not the time to bring it up, she decides as she gazes tenderly into those troubled eyes, sliding her hand down along the trace of his neck, his shoulder, and down to his abdomen. And finally she pulls him to her in a warm embrace, as she rests her head against his chest, the more than welcome sound of his heartbeat enveloping her ears.

His breath becomes deeper and slower as he wraps his arms around her, one around her shoulders, and the other at the small of her back. And they are so close now that there is barely room to breath, but Neo can't let go. He rests his head gently on top of hers, after placing a warm and tender kiss atop her forehead. And now he knows it more than ever, that he loves her, and that he can't lose her, no matter what. If he has to sacrifice himself to save her, so be it, he would without a question; she means that damn much to him.

_So why can't I just tell her I love her? What if I lose her and she never knows?_

He shakes that thought from his head, unable to comprehend the grief that would ensue upon him.

She can feel the tension in his muscles, and immediately senses his unease. It tortures her to see him this way, knowing there is so little she can do to ease his worry; calm his troubled mind.

"What's wrong Neo?"

She asks gently, gazing up into his eyes, those unreadable wells of torment, wishing that she knew what the hell she was supposed to do.

"I can't bear to see you like this... Neo please... tell me..."

He sees the urgency in her eyes, but he can't tell her, can't burden her with this. It would only worry her more. She is better off ignorant of the matter, he decides.

"I can't Trin... I just can't..."

His eyes are full of passion, love, and caring, pleading her not to push him over the edge. She does not understand, it's just too unreadable to grasp.

"I just... I just want to be with you right now... I just want to hold you."

And she doesn't know why, but this is enough for her, as she lets him encompass her slender frame. He is trembling slightly and for a moment Trinity wonders if he is crying.

_Well if he is, I'm not letting him go until he's ready!_

She holds him even tighter than the promise she has just made, feeling the heat radiate between them, warming her to her very core. She lets it seep into her skin, all throughout her body, filling her with a small piece of comfort from this harsh reality.

"It's okay Neo. You don't have to tell me it all. I trust you. Always remember that I trust you."

The words sound so feeble in her ears, but Neo rubs her back gently with his hands, an ever so small gesture to let her know that he understands and he is grateful. And when their eyes meet again their lips melt together no longer able to bare the separation.

So, for the moment, even though nothing makes much sense to either of them, at least they know they can take comfort in each other from the bitter bite of the cold.

And then he finally gives in.

"I love you Trinity." He breathes against her mouth as they separate gazing deeply into each other's eyes, and seeing each other's souls.

She holds him even closer as he whispers those three blissful words she's been longing to hear him say for so long.

And Morpheus turns out to be correct once again. He feels more stable now, trembling gone, a kind of peace flooding his senses as he whispers gently in her ear.

"Let's go back to bed."

Two hours later, Morpheus passes a door which really should be closed, if only for the sake of their privacy, a simple but potent luxury when you're crammed into a damp, cold, and echoing ship. He goes to close the door, quickly steeling a glance inside, half expecting at least one of them to be awake.

But they are both there, sound asleep, and for the time being, at peace entwined in each other's arms, bodies moulded into each other like a captivating work of art.

Morpheus smiles to himself as he gently closes the door, thankful for its silence after recently being oiled. For now at least they have found rest and comfort in each other: Neo and Trinity, his most precious crew members. They are invaluable to him, like his children he desperately wants and needs to love and protect.

It is more than just the feeling of fatherly love and pride though. It is the knowledge that even in such a broken world as this, there can still be such an emotion as love among all the hardened nerves and bloody struggles. And this is where he finds his sense of hope. The fact that as long as the fighters of the resistance have something they love to hold on to they will not stop fighting until all that they love can be finally safe and secure.

It is in this thought that Morpheus takes comfort as he begins his watch, green figures trailing down the screens, imagining the final end almost as if it were just around the corner, his eyes sparkling at the thought with an excited resilience. He does not stop to wonder what would happen if all that they loved was destroyed.

For hope, the one constant he has come to rely on in this world, does not even let the thought cross his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm always open to reviews and suggestions.


End file.
